◄ BACK

Philistine Squad 9: The Filming Of

GASAN: You read the script right?

SAM: No, why would I read your stuff at this point?

GASAN: The art of it, quality is important in these things.

SAM: Grainy murder propaganda?

GASAN: No, propaganda for the sake of Abar’s safety and leading the world to better ways.

SAM: By killing Brazlians? Never mind, I’ll finish my breakfast and see you at the studio.

NARRATOR: Before Gasan could speak he was hung up on.

SAM: That guy, gosh I hate him!

NARRATOR: Sam’s assistant, who can’t speak a lick of English, simply nodded like she understood. Sam never bothered to learn Portuguese so she never bothered to learn English. They liked this arrangement.

NARRATOR: When Sam got to the studio the prisoners were being prepped by a translator.

GASAN: You’re late

SAM: Fire me, we got a flat.

GASAN: You’re lucky you’re the only co-director that understands filming. Listen today I was thinking we use the warehouse to our advantage. Low lighting with tight shots. And say a healthy dose of using the broken down walls for tasteful lens flare. What do you think?

SAM: Okay so mallets, hand axes, knives. We give them a payout of say a thousand dollars to fight in the hallways and broom closets. I could see it, how about we toss in some child soldiers too?

GASAN: Maybe, wait, was that a joke?

SAM: Yes, yes it was.

GASAN: I’m quite offended, I thought you were on my side for a second.

SAM: What can I say? Your people skills are second to your ability to make killing people boring.

GASAN: This is a masterclass in filming Sam, you’ll see one day.

ACTOR I can’t do it!

NARRATOR: He ran out of the waiting room throwing his chest plate across the floor.

ACTOR You’re all crazy! We’ve been killing shoplifters!

NARRATOR: Gasan jumped in front of the actor. He put his shoulders up and let the actor bounce off him. The prisoners all look at the scene in confusion.

GASAN: Buddy what are you doing?

ACTOR Your a murderer! You told us we were killing rapist, murderers, pedophiles. Not innocent people.

GASAN: Whao! Hold on. I’m not the one killing them, you are. And second, are you aware that shoplifting is only something bad people do? Dare I say people you can murder guilt free?

ACTOR What? You’re crazy! I want out okay? Deport me to some nowhere place but, get me out here! You all would be wise to do the same!

GASAN: Listen, we can do that. But you didn’t have to go screaming bloody murder. Does anyone else want to quit? Because you can, Actors are replaceable enough I’m not too worried about it. How about the crew? Any of you guys?

NARRATOR: The rest of the staff looked away from the actor on the floor. Some were brave enough to consider it, of course the idea of never seeing their families again stopped them.

GASAN: Good, let’s shoot this thing. Uh, can we call Paul to get this party pooper off the set and off to Haiti or whatever.

ACTOR You’re a monster. One day this will come back to you.

GASAN: I wished you used this grade A material on set.

NARRATOR: Gasan walked past the actor making sure to show the rest of the crew how much he didn’t care. Sam helped the actor up, before the actor spit in Sam’s face.

ACTOR You’re a monster too, don’t think you get a pass.

NARRATOR: Sam punched the actor in the stomach before following Gasan

GASAN: You try to help some people huh?

NARRATOR: Sam scowled at Gasan. They walked up to their chairs, ordering the cast and crew below them. The translator made sure the prisoners are up to speed.

GASAN: Good morning crew! I apologize for what happened. All we can do is keep working. I’m afraid actors, that you’ll have to work even harder now to get those glory kills. Speaking of, to the actors we’re giving a thousand dollars if they begin and end fights in tight rooms and hallways. As for the prisoners. If you survive we give you your freedom and the ability to be taken to a tropical paradise. But, uh not here.

GASAN: Now the melee selection is a fun mix of chains, hand axes, and mallets. The gun selection being shotguns with a few being given pistols. For our stars we’re giving you sledge hammers and chain saws, I fully expect you to use it. Remember people glory kills!, that’s the magic of it.

SAM: Gosh, when are we going to get away from the shotguns?

GASAN: When they stop making brains fly out of heads.

SAM: I’m just saying we should consider something new. Shotguns are hard to get used to.

GASAN: Maybe when you start reading my scripts you can start making creative decisions.

SAM: Just get this thing over with..

GASAN: Gladly. Everyone in positions!

NARRATOR: The prisoners all moved to their respective combat spots. Taking their weapons, some prisoners holding on to them carefully; with other prisoners simply letting their shotguns slide on the floor. The actors did the same.

NARRATOR: The air smelt of sweat and dread. The actors and prisoners looked at eachother around the room, only to see the look of sadness on eachothers face. The conflict on killing each other for something other than hate was still new after all this time.

GASAN: Body cams on!

NARRATOR: Clicks sparked up the room. Some in the room began to repent, others thought of their families. Chains rattled under nerves, pistols clacked against wedding rings. Chainsaw men took that second to feel the rough plastic, the heft of their weapon, the slight slosh of gas with their movements. In the next moments the room would be full of awful blood. The air would stink, clothes would soak in blood. Children would never see their parents, and wives their husbands. All not in honor, for defending one’s country, family or even life. Simply for greed, greed vs need for freedom.

GASAN: Begin!