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SIGUAL: So Maya how do you feel?

MAYA: I’m a little scared cause this is my first mission!

SIGUAL: You’re ready, it’s going to go faster than you think. Just focus on the work in front of you.

MAYA: Thank you, maybe when I get back, you could tell me how you cook your brussel sprouts.

SIGUAL: Hey now, let’s not get crazy.

MAYA: Thank you Sigual, for real, this means a lot.

SIGUAL: You think I’m going to miss your launch? Now give me a hug, you got things to do.

NARRATOR: Maya hugged sigual. She made sure to hug extra hard as that would be the last time she’d hug another human for another three years.

NARRATOR: Audio log: 9, 19, 3044:

MAYA: Well I landed, It’s all so purple. and wow the team stocked up way too many food bars for me. I’ve yet to see the Smerps. That’s what I’m going to name them when I find them; Sigual said that was a dumb idea, he always thinks that though. I swear you could give him a name slightly out of the norm and he’d flip out. Sigual if you’re listening to this you still are a good teacher, just a grouch.

MAYA: The beacon that landed was a lot bigger than I thought, it took up most of the terraformed spot. It has this clock on it that tells me the day the satellite comes around. Sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling the team that, it’s all so new.

MAYA: I’m so tired I didn’t even get to try the chocolate Mom gave me as a gift. You know what she told me? “The hardest part is coming back.” Hopefully that’s not true. It was hard watching Mom be so much less social than Dad. She’d run out of buildings with too many people at times. I mean she’s good now. But back then though it was hard to watch. Dad always said that she’d return to normal, and that I just needed to give her time. He was right I guess. I just wish it was when I was still a kid.

MAYA: Alright enough sad stuff. Tomorrow I got some Smerps to look at, good night.

NARRATOR: Audio log: 9, 19, 3045:

MAYA: I-I don’t know what I’m doing here. It’s been a year and the only thing these things have to tell me is that I don’t know biology. I thought maybe I knew because I was, I don’t know a special kid? Or smart or something? Father told me that at least.

(Weird animal noises)

MAYA: Shut up! You just got fed!

(Sad animal noises)

MAYA: I can’t take it. I know I said I wanted to be here but. Wait, what was I saying? It doesn’t matter Smerps are just nasty there’s no “magic” gland from their stupid faces. All there is, an awful amount of shit! Just everywhere, and the smell never leaves! I should have brought some air fresheners with me.

MAYA: Mom was wrong there’s no way I won’t miss people. Thank goodness for Tanaka. He actually talks with me the whole day. You don’t know what it’s like to hear a human after so long. Yesterday I nearly cried when I heard his voice. I don’t think I can do another year with the amount of nothingness this ones been. Maybe when I get home I’ll just go back to lab work. See if Ivan is still in town. I still can’t believe he didn’t come to my launch.

MAYA: What else? Oh yeah and I’m tired of food bars! They claim there are forty flavors. No, there are two! The bland ones and strawberries with bananas! And wouldn’t you guess it, I hate strawberries.

MAYA: Why did I do this to myself? Because mom did? I had a good life, why did I have to stop all that contentness? I didn’t need to prove something to the world! Oh yeah I was “bored” I was bored with all that fun I was having. WHO CARES IF IT DIDN’T MATTER? At least I was happy, now mom and dad are getting older I already missed a birthday, a christmas, and [exaggerated] yeah.

MAYA: All I can do now is take care of those Smerps, maybe even find a cure from their gland. [scoff] Yeah right Like that would happen.

NARRATOR: Audio Log: 9, 19, 3046:

MAYA: I’m going home, yeah sorry I don’t have a good way to end this trip. I could call it “important” But all I did was find a cure for acne, I’m sure teenagers everywhere are happy. (Happy animal noises)

MAYA: I’ll miss the Smerps enough, not the noise or the poop. But they made good company. Honestly I wish I had better words to end this thing, I’ve been waiting for this day for so long. But I can’t even come up with an unofficial goodbye. I just hope they’re waiting for me back home. I spent the past two months just practicing in the mirror. I’m not sure if it was a good face of love and surprise and relief but I’ll try.

MAYA: I want a big juicy steak with salt and just all the butter. And a big thing of root beer, they gave me root beer packets but it’s not the same, not in the slightest. Driving, thats gonna be weird. I mean I guess you could count the rover. I wouldn’t but you go ahead. I guess I just miss people, but Mom was right. Something in me doesn’t want to go back. This was my kingdom in a way. (sad animal noises)

MAYA: I can’t say it was a complete waste of time, I learned how to care for an animal at least. Maybe that could be my big quote? No, I’m sure some publicists will have their prepared statement ready in hand. I’d hate to be the one odd one out talking about the loneliness of it all. I should write a book.Yeah that would be nice.

MAYA: Well thank you recorder you’ve done a lot, you’ve listened to all my rants without a thing to say. Bye.